A brief encounter of the third kind with a Socialist Wxxker Party Member

Fresher’s Fayre I felt like an serial murderer at an axe shop closing down sale. To the far left of me was the Socialist Worker’s Party and the Socialist Labour Party, to the far right of me was UKIP.

I couldn’t wait to have fun with the Socialist Worker’s Party bunch, I love pretending to confuse that they’re the Socialist Labour Party purely to cause offence. No we’re not the Socialist Labour lot exclaims an overexcited gentleman, we’re the Socialist Worker’s. A scene from Monty Python came flooding back, the People’s Judain Front and the People’s Front of Judaia.

Anyhow I was greeted with hi do you like change? Before I could even answer contentiously that I quite like things to be stationary he barked because if you do than you join our party, if you don’t like change then join another party. Which is just as well considering what my answer was actually going to be.

I informed this gentleman that I was in fact a Conservative Party member, to which he stood back as if I’d just informed a Parent Teacher Association that I was a paedophile wishing to become the new PE teacher. Well why are you with them, they’re there to take from the poor and give to the rich he exclaimed with such indignation one could only think bless his cotton socks. I retorted with well if we’re going to play that low level of debate you’re just there to take from the rich and give to the poor, surely socialists agree that stealing is stealing regardless of whether the stolen wallet is made from authentic leather or fake plastic. Which a mistake on my part as I immediately realised that I had assigned this gentleman with the role of being a modern day Robin Hood which somebody like him was all too happy to take on. Bless.

The Conservative Party are fascists and they’re openly homophobic he barks at me. I stopped him there. Sorry, homophobic? I ask feigning interest in his bizarre accusation. In my local constitutency I have eight members’ numbers on my phone, five of them are outrageously and openly gay and another is my girlfriend and the latter is our token hetero, so how can you accuse the party of being homophobic I ask. Well, they’d never give any positions to anyone who is openly gay he exclaims in a way that suggests he thinks he’s just moved his pawn to put me in check mate.

Actually, my good friend, one of them is a Chairman of a local constituency and have you not heard of Alan Duncan I replied moving my Queen (no pun intended) to knock his pawn off its feet.

Anyhow, next up was a discussion about worker’s rights. A touchy subject with me because my view is simple, that if you don’t like a job, naff off. Just as I did when working for the Civil Service. I could have inflicted petty strikes or stood outside with recycled cardboard banners, but I remembered that a) I have a life and prospects and b) to go on strike would be an insult to all those who are on a daily basis literally begging for work. In fact, I’m furious with the postal workers. I rely on my post for various things, at the moment I’m having to live on microwave pizzas because they still haven’t delivered my student loan letter. Whinge whinge whinge, worker’s rights. What happened to the right to actually do some work?

Can you believe it, he cries out, my friend who is coming to help on this stall was told by his boss that if he takes the day off to do this then he’ll be sacked!

I had to bite my sharp tongue to stop myself from saying and so he bloody should. He’s there to work, he’s employed to work and he’s paid to work. This is what frustrates me about the socialist workers’ unions, they’re like spoilt little kids who want and want some more.

Instead of campaigning for people who are forced to work in places where they are paid half the minimum wage they spend their time rabbling and striking about a mere hundred pounds annual wage increase. What an insult to those who actually genuinely need their crusaderous help, to go home having earnt £2 an hour, to switch on the tv and see how tube workers on hugely inflated salaries are going on strike because they don’t think forty-plus thousand a year isn’t enough for prodding a few buttons.

And that is precisely what the socialist workers’ unions and political organisations are, an insult to the real world. A bunch of fairy tale fantasists.

The Conservatives aren't phobic enough to be as sceptical as UKIP

The latest trend within the UKIP is to label the Conservatives as some sort of raging Europhile party, because God forbid there can be no other Eurosceptic party like a UK Independence Party.

Let's get facts straight.  It doesn't require somebody with a batchelors in investigative journalism to see that the Conservative Party is made, largely of Eurosceptics.  The reason this can oft go unnoticed is because the Conservative Party membership refuses to play the putrid Eurosceptics game whereby made in Britain good, made anywhere else evil.  Conservative Eurosceptics are intelligent, not emblazened with potty ideals of what Britain should be and as a result of this Conservative Euroscepticism rarely, if ever gets a mention in the media.

However, UKIP of course, with its bizarre anti-immigration and anti-Islam claims by individuals such as Gerrard Batten will always get press attention.  Who wants to know about a Conservative MEP who is against Turkey joining the EU purely on current economic grounds when they can wheel out barmy aging men like Gerrard Batten to continue his immigrant-bashing crusades and make bizarre claims like "80 million Muslims coming to Britain".

UKIP Euroscepticism is based purely on phobia and negativity.  The majority of its members would not be in the party if it ever decided to cease its anti-immigration stance.  That is an undeniable fact that Mr Farage on a daily basis feels embarassed about and no wonder he has resigned as leader.  Who would want to lead a party full of phobics?

Back to my original point.  Michael McManus in this article accuses Cameron of being a Europhile which anybody who knows Cameron or has been interested enough to research him knows is utter cock and bull.  I advise Mr McManus and other UKIP members who have been lulled in to the delusion that Cameron is a Europhile to research his first campaign literature, before he was leader of the Conservatives.

I believe Cameron was elected over David Davis on one sole issue; his Euroscepticism.  Cameron promised his party that he would remove them from the ghastly European grouping that they were a part of pre-2009.

However I'm not hear to deny McManus, a delightfully intelligent fellow, any agreeance if it is deserved.  For he is indeed right when he says that trouble awaits the Conservatives if the leadership sway towards Europhillia.  There are certainly more Eurosceptic members then there Europhiles, but what outweighs both camps is the Reformists within the party.  These people are neither sceptic or phillic about the EU, but seek to reform it to the best of Britain's interests.

One worry I do have is that a turn towards Eurofederalist ideals within the Conservative Party leadership will lead to far right anti-immigration parties like UKIP and the BNP dredging up more support.

It is great to see the UKIP try to sound certain that the Conservatives are for a Federalist Europe whilst they rock back and forth nervously knowing that this indeed will not be the case.  Only time will tell and time will tell that Mr Farage will be on his way to the Conservatives very soon. 

Tony Kearns, from the Communication Workers' Union calls democracy a disgrace!

Well it seems the socialist rabble are at it again with their utter disregard for the double D's.  No not the putrid double d's belonging to Nick Griffin's overweight and badly formed self but rather, the two d's important in healthy politics: Democracy and Debate.

Tony Kearns, assistant general secretary of the Communication Workers' Union calls it a disgrace that the Labour Party are considering 'sharing a platform' with the BNP.  One can only assume that Kearns isn't referring to the peripheral or spatial entailment of the word platform, but rather Mr Kearns takes issue with anybody daring to enter any form of respectable human communication with the BNP.

Let's not forget, the BNP are a legitimate political party in Britain.  They are not some sort of rogue guerilla political operation.  Let's not forget that 6.26% of the electorate voted for them in the European elections this year.

To dismiss a vote for the BNP as a mere protest vote is as dismissive as one can get.  There were over 15 fringe parties that the electorate could pick from in order to'protest', so why would they have chosen the BNP?

It's simple.  They got those votes because the lefty socialists amongst us gave them license to never have to say much in public, but to do it all in secrecy and under their own caring arms.  An unchallenged opponent is won who has therefore never lost is a saying that I have.  And that is exactly what the BNP have been for all these years.

Don't get me wrong.  I despise the BNP and what they are truly about.  Seeing their overweight oily selves walking on two trotters with their French resembling tri-coloured rosettes makes the idea of watching Danni Minogue crocodile tear her way towards attention on the X-Factor, or Jordan 'baring all' in the latest Heat magazine seem like not such a vomit inducing exercise.  I despise the BNP but I love more than I hate anything, and what I love are those double d's (no not Jordan's)- Democracy and Debate.

There is a famous quote that rings similar to "I despise what you have to say but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

In the case of the BNP I will defend their right to speak simply because the sad fact is that the majority of people who voted BNP have no idea what they are actually about.  Some of you will refuse to believe this, but remove your self alligned arrogance that everybody has the some political infatuation as you.  When canvassing I had people tell me, proud in their naive way that they were voting BNP.  I'd ask them why and the response would be "because they're the only ones who care about British workers"; and the ironic thing?  The gentleman's name was Mr Singh.

Bring the BNP on Question Time and other shows.  In fact I would happily be on the panel with them next to me.  And do you know what I'd do?  I'd turn to Nick Griffin and say, on behalf of the 6% of the people that vote for you let me shake your hand and tell you that I recognise your right to exist as a political party no matter how putrid you or your party is, for I am not scared of you or what you have to say, I in fact welcome it, because it is about time that the people watching at home were finally stopped being patronised by socialist lefty politicians that think the public must somehow be protected from the big bad BNP, I want those of you watching who voted for the BNP to watch and listen carefully and ask yourself at the end of the show is this truly who I thought I had voted for, a bigotted, hateful and mind numbingly intellectually stagnant party, and finally is this something I can look the children of the future in the face and say they are the sort of people I want dictating to you as to how the colour of one's skin is the difference between being right and wrong.

I'm sick to death of Socialist organisations jumping up and down like overexcited smarties overdosed toddlers at the very mention of the BNP.  While you're jumping up and down in hysterics just remember,you're dancing to their tune.

Michael Heseltine on Britain's "special relationship" with America

This week’s Question Time was interesting listening. It was fantastic to see the Liberal’s show their contentiousness towards devolution when it benefits and to see Harriet Harman refuse to answer a simple question whether she herself or her government would have released Almagrahi.

The highlight of the show without a doubt was the fantastic point made by Michael Heseltine regarding Britain's "special relationship" with America (in the context of discussing of the release of the accused Lockerbie bomber):

"I find it pathetic that we go on talking about a special relationship, this is the most naive delusion fostered on this side of the atlantic, hardly ever mentioned on the other side of the atlantic, if America has a special relationship, it is with Israel... but the idea that Britain ranks above all others, well cast your minds back to the IRA terrorism when we begged them to stop the cashflow to the IRA in this country, minister after minister after minister, but the money kept coming.”

Michael Heseltine is indeed an extraordinarily great politician with a wealth of experience, so who better than to dispel the notion of a “special relationship” between Britain and America than Mr Heseltine?

To watch the full rhetoric just click here where you will be brought to the exact time: http://bbc.co.uk/i/n0p0l/?t=9m35s

Do people REALLY believe St George's day won't happen because it will offend?

I've thought about this carefully and have come up with some possible reasons why you (if you do) might actually genuinely believe bullshit news like St George's day being banned or Christmas being banned so it doesn't offend foreigners.

The possible explanations for your moronicness are that you were/are:

- very badly beaten as a child

- your parents had the social skills of alcoholic gorillas

- your head was used as a basketball at a young age

- have the insecure notion that in comparison to 'foreigners' you are lazy, worthless and jobshy

- read tabloids like the daily star as if it is all facts and think wow yeah they speak for the true Brits

- or you are simply racist and thinking this way is just an excuse for you to be even more racist

Either way whatever the reason is, you're a moron and if anyone should get out of this country, it's you.